The Feeling of Inadequacy

I work for a law enforcement agency, and one night I had a call from one of the patrol officers. “Can you look and see where I’m scheduled tomorrow?” he asked. I checked, and it showed he was the corporal the following day. For those not aware, a corporal generally will assume leadership duties when a sergeant or higher are not available. “Yep,” he continued once I told him, “the sergeants all have to be in class. Guess it’s a good thing I decided not to take a sergeant position.” He went on for several minutes about how clever he is and how the sergeants probably all wish they were him right about then. Even though I was already well aware, it was pretty evident that he wanted to make sure I knew how just how important he was.

While this sounds a bit extreme, we’ve all found ourselves seeking approval and trying to impress others. Feelings of inadequacy can and do affect people from all walks of life, and it is important to not only realize the warning signs and symptoms, but what to do when you find yourself feeling like you’re inadequate or don’t measure up.

Some people try to hide when their feeling inadequate by boasting and having an exaggerated self- image. Just like officer mentioned before, I have a family member who somehow always seems to be the expert in whatever we may be having a conversation about and it’s difficult for them to admit they don’t know something. They try to hide their insecurity with a false sense of confidence.

Some people may do the opposite and avoid showing others what they're truly capable of. In these people’s minds, if others don’t know what their best really is, then their best can never be not good enough. I personally know someone who could do much more than they are, but their feelings of inadequacy and insecurity limit them to doing just enough so they never make waves.

If you find yourself feeling inadequate, insecure or down on yourself, it is important to pinpoint that thinking and take control over it. Feelings that you do not deal with will deal with you. Remember that we are people and we all have our own problems in life. You should never compare yourself with someone else. As someone once said, “You’re comparing someone else’s highlight reel with your behind-the-scenes footage.” You don’t know what personal trials those people had to overcome or are still challenged by.  We should also never fail to be thankful for what we have. I know personally that God has blessed me abundantly more than I ever deserved, and there have been many times in my life when God has made a way for me when I couldn’t see one. As I’ve learned to lean on and trust in Him, I’ve been able to take the responsibility for my future off of my own shoulders and begin to hand it over to Him.  It is a liberating feeling to know that God’s got your back if you’ll only let Him. Finally, don’t forget that God is still working on you. If you're condemning yourself for past mistakes or feel like you’re not good enough because of something that’s happened in your life, it’s important to remember how important you are to Him. You were born with a purpose, and God believes that you are the best and only person for the job.

Once you start to get a hold of how important you already are, you’ll find that you won’t need the approval of others. When you begin to develop a real sense of confidence based on your identity, and you’ll find the right people will be drawn to you.